So the weekend has ended and it is Monday again! YAY (that was super sarcastic, by the way). My weekend was decent, my eating was not. Something took over and I used every excuse I could think of as to why I should eat whatever I wanted, it went from "cheat meal" to "cheat meals" to "cheat day" to "cheat weekend". I don't know what made me just completely give up counting my calories and watching what I was eating. I just wanted to. I decided that I was going to indulge in whatever I wanted.
I am making it sound like i totally pigged out on whatever, which, to me, I had, but still, I am not completely sure that it was as bad as it was prior to me starting this challenge. The first thing I wanted when I woke up Saturday morning was chocolate. Then, when I was looking around for some, I decided it didn't really sound too great. So I skipped it. I had oatmeal instead. I did end up having chocolate, and meatloaf and mashed potatoes, and something else unhealthy for lunch that wasn't memorable enough for me to even remember. That is pretty much how my weekend went. I tried to slow down my eating. The only thing I even bothered controlling were my portions.
It has left me with a bloated, full, icky belly today and I am fairly certain I will never do it again. I know that part of the problem is that I am an emotional eater. My emotions have been up and down lately and I think it put me in to the "I don't give a F**k" mood. I'm still trying to figure things out and all in all, today is a new day. I will have to continue working towards my goal, no matter if I have a problem weekend, or day, or week.
I've been afraid to weigh myself. I don't want to see the pounds I have gained. It will probably just make me spiral further away from where I want to be. My ultimate goal, aside from being at a healthy weight, is to be HAPPY. 100%, no matter what, HAPPY, happy with myself, happy with my body, happy inside and out. Sometimes I feel I'm straying from that goal and have to constantly remind myself of it.
One day soon, ALL will be accomplished!!
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