I have been up and down lately. I am not sure if it is hormonal or if it is from interrupted workouts, or if it is from something entirely different. The last few days I have been feeling really lonely. I miss being in a relationship and having someone there for me that is not family. That sounds really bad, especially because my family is my biggest support system, but I like the feeling of having and being in a relationship. I didn't have one for a very long time, not since my daughter was born. Then I reluctantly got into one about the end of March 2012. I fell in love with him, against my better judgment. I say this because for some reason, (and maybe I jinxed myself) I knew he was going to break my heart. We broke up but we are still really good friends, which is nice, but not the same.
The loneliness is making me want to eat. I hate being an emotional eater. I have been doing good ignoring the urge to just binge out on whatever I want, and I am not gonna lie, it is hard. My co-worker is getting the habit today for lunch because she wants a burger. Since the thought has been implanted in my head, I haven't stopped thinking about it. I might get a lettuce wrapped veggie burger and hope it cures the craving.
As for the title of today's blog, well yesterday my co-worker and I had a discussion about how it is always the bitch that wins, that gets what they want. You can take any situation you'd like, but our discussion was about relationships. Our theory, and please, tell me if we are wrong, but it is always the needy, whiny, mean girl that gets/keeps the guy. Nice girls, like me, tend to get overlooked after awhile. I don't know, maybe in some weird way, guys want that. I know I don't. I don't want some asshole who treats me like shit. I can't imagine a guy wanting a bitch for a girlfriend who treats you like dirt. I don't know. My argument sounds weird and belligerent even to me. And I apologize. Again, I'm still feeling oddly lonely and that is probably the reason for the rant. My theory works everywhere though. The bitches move up in the companies they work for, they get the guy, etc. It is weird. I wish I could say it is because they are determined, but I don't believe that is true in all cases. I've met very lazy people out there, that get the same outcome. I don't know.
I apologize in advance for the ranting and stuff. I think I just needed to get it out.
On a much more positive note, I have been able to stay under calories, get my exercise in (although a few of my workouts were interrupted by a not so happy 5 year old) and I am wearing a dress today that I couldn't even zip up a few weeks ago. Ecstatic isn't even a good enough word to explain how good that feels. I really want to weigh myself, so I might do that tomorrow morning.
If I don't blog at all this weekend, you can expect a long one come Monday!
I hope you have a great one!!!
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